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Wednesday, August 31, 2011

You Just Knew He Was From Palm Bay

You are watching TV, and the News people come at you with the teaser "Brevard Man beats teen in backyard fight caught on video". See the video at 11:00. And you just know its a Palm Bay man but you are hoping it is Cocoa or Mims. The story has even made national news and by now it is a YouTube sensation.

We are the City of white trash, wannabe gangstas and evidently grown men with dreams and fantasies of being a UFC fighter.

From all the reports out there it seems that Gary Leroy Johnson, If you were playing the guess the race game before you saw the video you probably lost. You know what I am talking about, Anyway Gary Leroy Johnson age 35, was referee for some back yard fisticuffs between his teenage son and another 16 year old punk. Gary stated he wanted to make sure it was a fair fight. Seems Gary's son either pussed out or had enough so Gary decided to finish what his son could not or would not do.
First he congratulated the 16 year old with a little pat on the back then decided he could probably take the kid so Gary started whipping the boys ass. Gary is a big boy 6'5 220 lbs the kid was about 5'8'' maybe a buck fifty

So it did not take too much to knock the 16 year old tattooed punk on his ass. Gary then must have imagined him self in the
Octagon fighting the Iceman Chuck Liddell he got carried away because he jumped on the kid and started pounding and pummeling the punk into submission in front of his son, his wife and some fat guy with a beer all of which star in the video. The crowd was calling his name. Then thank goodness Gary Leroy Johnson age 35 white dude with no police record from Palm Bay and get this, an emergency room technician, comes to his senses and realizes he is not in a pay for view and he is not in the UFC Octagon. He is in his own backyard in Palm Bay Florida beating the crap out of some little 16 year old punk kid who whipped his son's ass. He gets up from straddling the young lad whom he just pummeled and comes back to the real world. He realizes time to cover my ass.There is no after fight press conference. He makes up some bull shit story for the police but he did not realize that he was being filmed after all.
Now Gary Leroy Johnson you are a star. You have made it to the big time. The National News has picked up the story and you have once again put Palm Bay on the map. Never mind dumb ass that you now probably lost your good job as an emergency room technician and now have been charged with felony counts of aggravated battery and child abuse, as well as misdemeanor counts of filing a false report, affray and contributing to the delinquency of a minor. You had to post a $35,000 bond to get your stupid ass out of the Crowbar hotel and now you need to hire a lawyer.
Now because you live in Palm Bay everybody who recognizes you is going to want to kick your ass just so you know it is not that easy to beat up a grown up. Gary you should have stayed with playing
UFC on the XBOX 360 because you are in a whole Heep of shit now. Gary you make us proud. You put Palm Bay back in the National News. Gary you are what makes Palm Bay the place to be.


  1. The kid was a punk anyway and probably needed to get his ass beat

  2. In defense of the city of Palm Bay, I must make it known that most of the people that live here are from somewhere else. So it is mostly composed of dirtbags from out of state, if all the losers from places like NY,NJ and trailer parks across America would just leave.....it wouldn't be such a bad place.

  3. That comment is so right on. Except you forgot to mention Michigan, Ohio, Mass, PA The Islands, Africa and anywhere from FL south of St Lucie. All the shit from the North winds up in FL and all the shit in South FL winds its way up here too.

  4. That father must get an ass kicking of his own. At the very least, if the neighbors around him don't give him the finger every single time they see him outside of his house or just when passing by the house, than that is just more proof that Palm Bay is full of trash.